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1. |
machismo & his masochist
04:12
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This Spring I buried a man
Inside my head as I held his hand
Malevolent tongue snaked out
Soft palms napalm southpaws now
Fireworks and smokescreens
The belle-of-the-ball or GHB?
A neon-lit reverie
Far from the bitch heād breed
Iāll just give it thanks
And you can turn to crank, man
A gram of love left never grand enough
Instead of filling blanks
Well, Iād rather keep it frank, man
You can keep gruff with a heart so tough but
Iāll be
Calling you out on your shit
Iām just
Calling you out on it
Iām just
Calling you out on your shit
Iām just
Iām waiting for karmaās kiss
Boy
Iāll be your masochist
Boy
Calling you out
Oh, I
Wonder if heās still cruel and dismissive
Finicky tempest-tempered and capricious
So pitiful, his little criminal
Rebuffed till he fucked me a little, well...
Fireworks and smokescreens
The belle-of-the-ball amphetamine dreaminā
A neon-lit reverie
Far from the bitch Iād breed
So Iāll just give it thanks
And maybe turn to crank, man
A gram of love left never grand enough
And āstead of firing blanks
Well, Iād rather keep it frank, man
You can keep gruff with a heart so tough but
Iāll be
Calling you out on your shit
Iām just
Calling you out on it
Iām just
Calling you out on your shit
Iām just
Iām waiting for karmaās kiss
Boy
Iāll be your masochist
Boy
Calling you out
Oh, I
Yeah
I know you wanna screw me better
But Iāll be in my head forever
No I wonāt be your scarlet letter
But I hope thereās someone worth your pain
Yeah, I hope thereās someone worth your pain
And I hope Iām someone worth this pain
āCause Iām just
Calling you out on your shit
Iām just
Calling you out on it
Iām just
Calling you out on your shit
Iām just...
Yeah, I know you wanna fuck me better!
But Iāll be in my head forever
So maybe I am just too tender
But I hope thereās someone worth this pain
Yeah, I hope thereās someone worth this
(Pain!)
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2. |
potluck
03:17
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Honestly, I donāt know what it is about people
Canāt relate most days in a free fall when
Being equal is harder than it looks
Narrating the story but
Who the fuck wrote this book?
Iām gonna need more
Drugs if I keep living
Iām gonna need to
Pick up my slack
Iām gonna need more
Love if I keep giving out
Gonna need my stupid body back
Oh, suck it up!
Write it down and forget it
Iāll pop a potluck of anaesthetics
Suck it up!
Ride it out like Iāve read it
Iāll pop a potluck of anaesthetic
Oh, Iāll pop a potluck of anaesthetic
Yeah, Iāll pop a potluck of anaesthetic
Honestly, I donāt know what it is about myself
Carved an epitaph then a toast to my health
In a suicide note from a murderous plan
All so insignificant but isnāt life just grand?
Iām gonna need more
Drugs if I keep living
Iām gonna need to
Pick off your slacks
Iām gonna need more
Love if I keep giving out
Gonna need your stupid body back
Oh, suck it up!
Write it down and forget it
Iāll pop a potluck of anaesthetic
Suck it up!
Ride it out like Iāve read it
Iāll pop a potluck of anaesthetic
Sometimes I forget to tell myself
Iāve done nothing to justify this cruelty, yeah
Times I get to tell myself Iāve done
Everything to die more brutally
Oh, suck it up!
Write it down and forget it
Iāll pop a potluck of anaesthetic
Suck it up!
Ride it out like Iāve read it
Iāll pop a potluck of anaesthetic
Iām gonna need more
Drugs if I keep living
Iām gonna need to try to not crack
Iām gonna need more
Love if I keep giving
Iām gonna need that knife in my back
(Oh, suck it up!
Write it down and forget it
Iāll pop a potluck of anaesthetics
Suck it up!
Ride it out like Iāve read it
Iāll pop a potluck and just drop dead)
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3. |
rain dancer
03:49
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Iām a wrecking ball of a broken heart
Youāre an easy match; Iām a wildcard
Itās a stupid game I never win
Find my trigger fingers itching for this killing to begin
Flashing a deadpan
Dazzle with ease
Reeling you in
Slashing the leash
I am a stopgap gimcrack whore
But lately Iāve been looking for
One more foot in the door
No, I donāt take much to come crawling back again
I wonāt fall on my sword
But Iāll be just fine till Iām firing rapidly
āFuck you! I hate you!ā
We still hook up when Iām outta self-love
Might be token
But Iām still hoping for
Rain
Rain
Dreaming of you when Iām hardāon luck
I get roughed around till I toughen up
Then Iām cursing these cutpurses stealing my heart
Rolling my eyes as Iām not that hard
Iām a flash in the pan
Spitting up grease
Come in your mouth but I piss in the breeze
I am a stopgap gimcrack whore
But lately Iāve been looking for
One more foot in the door
No, I donāt take much to come crawling back again
I wonāt fall on my sword
But Iāll be just fine till Iām firing rapidly
āFuck you! I hate you!ā
We still hook up when Iām outta self...
Might be token
But Iām still hoping for
Rain
Rain
All it takes is softly holding your hand
And all it takes is being the bigger man
And all it takes is someone else in my bed
All it takes is gently kissing your head
āCause
Iām still open
Iām still hoping for rain
Iām still hoping
Iām still open to change
Iām still open
Iām still hoping for rain
Iām still hoping
Iām still open to
All that I require is
(I wonāt fall on my sword
But Iāll be just fine, I swear!)
āCause it might be broken
But Iām still hoping that
I might be coping though Iām
Likely joking when Iām
Nightly smoking something
Might be going insane
Might be token but
Iām still hoping to
Change
Fuck you, I hate you
We still hook up when Iām outta self-love
Might be token but
Iām still hoping for
Rain
Iām still hoping for...
(When Iām outta self-love
When Iām outta self-love
When Iām outta self-love
When Iām outta self-love
When Iām outta self-love
When Iām outta self-love
When Iām outta self...)
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4. |
transmogrification
03:59
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I cradle a catty reputation
āSticks and Stonesā when Iām up for lapidation
Laughing off all the scrubs Iāve dated
Kinda difficult when they insist
āWe didnātā
Crawling along the snakes of the land
I am the wicked
You are the Man
I have the knowledge
I am the fruit
But Iām not the wino
Eyeing the flute
The rush
Of flying through the
Forest
Good luck
According to the
Chorus
Iām stuck
According to the
Fables
Good lord
Iām running with all the
Werewolves
Awoo
Awoo
Awoo
I flex my eerie meditations
Patiently waiting, fear flipping faces
These days, no agenda around
Sucking me off and spitting me out, I'm
Crawling along the snakes of the land
I am the wicked
You are the Man
I have the knowledge
I am the fruit
But Iām not the wino, no, no
I am the flute
The rush
Of flying through the
Forest
Good luck
According to the
Chorus
Iām stuck
According to the
Fables
Good lord
Iām running with all the
Werewolves
Awoo
Awoo
Awoo
I know Iāll figure out
Some reason to make you leave
Then I can hunt you down
Once again between my teeth
Iāve got this penchant for
Letting all the good ones bleed
Dancing in the moonlight
Till Iām begging for some goddamn sleep
(Sleep)
Sleep
āCause Iām a werewolf!
āCause Iām a werewolf!
āCause Iām a werewolf!
Oh, Iām running with all the werewolves!
Running with all the werewolves!
Iām running with all the werewolves!
Running with all the werewolves!
Iām feeling like Iām a werewolf!
Oh, Iām feeling like Iām awoo
Awoo!
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5. |
stone fruit
04:53
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I stake myself on a mine again
On guard, Iām gardening, I
Climb supine men, Iām vining
Find surprising silver linings
Sanctuary, sanctuary
Body is a temple, so Iām fucking missionaries
Maybe bury them in my epistolaries, but
Soliloquies are better than obituaries so
I could be your sweet summer son
I could be your peaches and plums
Scraping flesh off the pit of the pain
All of my heartache in haste weāve abated
You taste it and waste it away
Stone fruit
Iām stone fruit
Iām stone
Stone fruit
Iām stone fruit
Iām stone
Stone fruit
Iām stone fruit
Iām stone
(Stone fruit, Iām stone fruit, Iām)
Oh, suck away my heart, why donāt you?
Sell me your magenta shades
Donāt do the math, wonāt solve my issues
Just leave me where Iām lain
And if I never grow emotional
Would you believe I still get hurt?
I still marvel your proportions so
Come twist my head off
Let me show you how I turn
Soliloquies are better than obituaries though
Soliloquies are better than obituaries so
I could be your sweet summer son
I could be your peaches and plums
Scraping flesh off the pit of the pain
All of my softness is gravely degrading but
I could be your sweet summer sun
I could be your peaches and plums
Scraping flesh off the pit of the pain
All of my heartache in haste weāve abated
You taste it and waste it away
Stone fruit
Iām stone fruit
Iām stone
Stone fruit
Iām stone fruit
Iām
I could be your sweet summer son!
I could be your peaches and plums!
Scraping flesh off the pit of the pain
All of my softness is gravely degrading!
But I could be your sweet summer son!
I could be your peaches and plums!
Scraping flesh off the pit of the pain
All of my heartache
You taste it and waste it away!
All of my heartstrings are rotted away
(Stone fruit, Iām stone fruit
Iām stone fruit, Iām stone
Stone fruit, Iām stone fruit
Iām stone fruit, Iām stone
Stone fruit, Iām stone fruit
Iām stone fruit, Iām stone...)
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6. |
vae victis!
05:06
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Good enough to fuck so Iāll never be good enough
To be your friend
Good enough to start so Iāll never be smart enough
To see the end
Good enough to play but Iāll never be number one
I know the game
Dumb enough to win, thinking pawns are bound to change
Well, the kingās the sameāØ
Tallies on the wall, gotta face that final score
Thought I was a hero but Iām not sure anymore
(Oh)
Iām your supervillain
Iām your supervillain, huh?
Iām your supervillain
Iām your supervillain so
Screw my stupid feelings
If Iām the supervillain in the end
In the end
Iām your supervillain
Iām your supervillain, huh?
Iām your supervillain
Iām your supervillain so
Maybe you might kill me
If Iām the supervillain in the end
In the end
Good enough to fight so Iāll never need a hand to hold, no
Entirely enough when I have a half painted gold
Youāre good enough to love but Iāll never love you that way
Bad enough, I think of myself just the same
Well the tallyās on the wall, gotta face that final score
I couldāve been a hero but Iām not that anymore, no
Iām your supervillain
Iām your supervillain, huh?
Iām your supervillain
Iām your supervillain, so
Screw my stupid feelings
If Iām the supervillain in the end
In the end
Iām your supervillain
Iām your supervillain, huh?
Iām your supervillain
Iām your supervillain, so
Maybe you might kill me
If Iām the supervillain in the end
In the end
Afraid to explain why
Divinities never save my case
Shape the matrices of my own damnation
Rather than the victim
I guess Iām your supervillain in the end
In the end
In the end
In the end, end, end
In the end, end, end
In the end
Iām your supervillain
Iām your supervillain, huh?
Iām your supervillain
Iām your supervillain, so
Maybe you might kill me
If Iām the supervillain in the end
In the end
(Iām your supervillain
Iām your supervillain, huh?)
Iām your supervillain
Iām your supervillain, so
Maybe you should kill me
If Iām the supervillain in the end
In the end
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7. |
whoring
04:50
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I met my ex on a streetcar yesterday
He recognised me, I him
Tried to grab his gaze
I looked up from my phone too late
He was already looking away, well
Iāll see him āround here once again
And in my head, I do something
Then reality hits: Iāll say nothing
But in my head, ooh, I feel glad, I guess
Then reality cuts like a knife right through my chest
I donāt even know myself
Choking on a wishing well
Whoring for a little hope
Starving stupid for the ropes
Never get filled by seas so full of fish
I confess my endless loneliness
These men I fuck somehow keep showing up
Skyline nor horizon ever wide enough
I looked up from my phone too early
Now Iām leaving in a hurry
Iāll see him āround here once again
And in my head
(In my head)
I do something
āØ(I do something )
Then reality hitsāØ
(Reality hits)
Iāll say nothing
(Say nothing)
But in my head
(In my head)
Ooh, I feel glad, I guess
Then reality cuts like razors through my chest
I donāt even know myself
Choking on a wishing well
Whoring for a little hope
Starving stupid for the ropes
Iāll never get filled by seas so full of fish
I confess my endless loneliness
Iām a misanthropic
Humanist at heart
This silly scumās my favourite part
Iām a misanthropic
Humanist at heart
This city scumās my miserable art
Iām a misanthropic
Humanist at heart
This silly scumās my favourite part
Iām a misanthropic
Humanist at heart
The city scumās my personal, miserable art
And why
I donāt even know myself
Choking on a wishing well
Whoring for a little hope
Starving stupid for the ropes
Never get filled by seas so full of fish
I confess my endless loneliness
When I donāt even know myself
I donāt!
I donāt even know myself
No I donāt!
But Iām still here!
I wonāt disappear!
No, Iām still here!
I WONāT DISAPPEAR!
Iām still here
I wonāt disappear
Iām still here
I wonāt disappear
Iām still here
I wonāt disappear
(Iām still here)
Iām still here
I wonāt disappear
(Iām still here)
Iām still here
No, Iām still here
Iām still here
Iām still here
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8. |
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(You)ļæ¼
You made me wait up in the rain
Iām always bathing in the blame
So how does it feel, huh?
Tugging on my leash
Oh
Iām tracing all your moves and plays
Pacing every night, stuck in place
So how does it feel, uh?
Tugging on my leash
I can never sweep you off your feet
Fleeting first impressions you believe
So how does it feel?
Tugging on my leash
Oh
I forever fuck up all I say
Canāt we lay this down before the day?
āCause I know how it feels
Hanging on the leash
Iām too young to take you anywhere
Youāre too old to ever fucking care
I know how this feels
Dangled on the leash
I will never stop trying to change, try to change, try to
Failing all the rules of this old game, your old game
āCause I know how it feels, yeah
Dangled on the leash
Oh, all the way
All the way
All the way
Oh, all the way
All the way
All the way
(You know it feels
I know it feels
You know it feels
I know it feels like
You know it feels
I know it feels
You know it feels
I know it feels like
You know it feels
I know it feels
You know it feels
I know it feels...)
You made me wait up in the rain
I know he left you in a hurricane
Yeah, you know how it feels, baby
So I know how it heals, too
Now I do
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9. |
quixotism
07:31
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I was high enough to cross your map
Split your smoke and call you back
Spend a couple weeks unwrapped in your bed
Rapturous reds rapping my head
We wrapped up the dynamite truth
Sang along to crackling fuse
Your name: my favourite excuse
Taught me like that
Caught me like that, singing
Six-hundred-sixty-six pop songs
Gotta get you out of my head, my love
Six-hundred-sixty-six pop songs
Gotta get you out of my head, my love
But I know you will never get out
You know I would rather write it down
I know you will never get out
You know I would rather write it down
Get out, my
I, grabbing ankles, yanking me down
Only banked on fucking around
Sobbing in your kitchen, fallen in love
Hearts-on-sleeve so off the cuff
You were
Captive to a Patti Smith book
āChained to The Rhythm,ā Liz Phair, Kate Bush
Silhouetted along the Spring greys
You were insane!
But Iām the same, singing
Six-hundred-sixty-six pop songs
Gotta get you out of my head, my love
Six-hundred-sixty-six pop songs
Gotta get you out of my head, my love
But I know you will never get out
You know I would rather write it down
I know you will never get out
You know I would rather write it down
Get out, my love
(Sha-la-la-la la-la la-la la
Sha-la-la-la la-la la-la la
Sha-la-la-la la-la la-la la
Hit me like that, then I let it pass)
Itās been years and some time
Could call you once mine
Canāt call you back, though
It hit me like that but Iāve learnedā¦
Iāve learned
Iāve learned
Iāve learned....
Six-hundred-sixty-six pop songs
Gotta get you out of my
Gotta get you out of my
Six-hundred-sixty-six pop songs
Gotta get you out of my
Gotta get you out of my
(But I know you will never get out
You know I would rather write it down
I know you will never get out
You know I would rather write out)
Six-hundred-sixty-six pop songs
Gotta get you out of my head, my love
Six-hundred-sixty-six pop songs
Gotta get you out of my head, my love
But I know you will never get out
You know I would rather write it down
I know you will never get out
You know I would rather write it down
Get out, my love
(Van Gogh watched from the window
I knew then what Iāve always known
Van Gogh watched from the window
I knew then and Iāve always known)
(Iām still running up that hill
Iām still running up
Iām still running up that hill
Iām still running up)
(Van Gogh watched from the window
I knew then what Iāve always known
Van Gogh watched from the window
I knew then and Iāve always known)
(Iām still running up that hill
Iām still running up
Iām still running up that hill
Iām still running, my)
I know Iām thinking, āFuck youā
But I secretly
I secretly wanna save you
I promise Iāll get so rich
Iāll storm into that building
Your dingy mess of an apartment
That slum thatās no good for you
Where I once tried to
Keep the kitchen clean
Where you sobbed into me
Where you loathed my critique
And I wonāt have to drag you out
For my riches will persuade
My confidence, which will persuade
You to follow me
Perhaps another city
Buy you some high-end neurotherapy
That I read about years ago
Still think about to this day
Because I still think of you
And all the shit
You pump into your body
Chipping your bullet of a brain
Well
Iām sorry for laughing at you
Rusting the pillars
And crumbling the walls
Of that monster house youāve made your home
For reasons I never understood
Thought if I set fire to the house
Youād come running right out
But you stayed
And I stared
I watched you burn
So I can understand
I know how
I know now
I will storm into that building
Your knight in blazing armour
Iāll forgive your dragon
And you will be my prince
Iāll fashion talismans out of chips on your shoulders
Bond your hands in bandages
I will save you
Save you from yourself
I know you better now
I can love you now
Much deeper than you ever will
Iāll be so fucking sorry
And youāll forgive me in the end
And finally the sun will set
And I will return to sleep
Where you donāt take the G without me
Where we can sing all these
Six-hundred-sixty-six pop songs
Six-hundred-sixty-six pop songs
Weāll be singing together
Six-hundred-sixty-six pop songs
Weāll duet over every single one
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10. |
x, after math
02:15
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(The consequences or after effects of a significant unpleasant event
Do you want to hear the remaining one?)
New grass growing after mowing or harvest
Iām carried home under Mayfield sky darkness
I couldāve loved a farm boy, a suburbanite queer
A clever city slutāor at least his veneer
Well, maybe I was someone
Or maybe I will be
Sometimes my potentials outweigh me
Outweigh
Away
My eyes slide like cursive, scrolling the grass
I sleep in the backseat of this aftermath
Now Iām sliding the cursors and scrolling the glass
Awake in the backseat of this aftermath
(So what are you up to?
Do you still hate me?
I still wear that shirt you gave me
Do you still wear the jockstrap I gave you
Has it worn out, like me and mine?
Remember when I had my hand inside you
I do
I try not to think of it
Until some anonymous face brings you up again)
And youāre up again
And Iām up again
Then Iām down again
Again
So what are you up to?
Do you still hate me
(Oh, what are you up to?
Do you still hate me?)
What are you up to?
I hope you still hate meāØ
The facility of clarity is all I really need from you, maybe
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11. |
keep you
04:20
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I eat my dinner in the bathtub
Then I go to sex clubs
Watch the freaky people getting it on
They don't make me nervous
If anything I'm restless
Yeah, I've been around and I've seen it all
So I
I get home, I got the munchies
Binge on all my Twinkies
Throw up in the tub
Go to sleep, I
Drank up all my money
Dazed and kind of lonely
You're gone and I gotta stay high
All the time
Keep you off my mind, whoa-oh-oh
High all the time
Keep you off my mind, whoa-oh-oh
So I spend my days locked in a haze
Try to forget you, babe
I fall back down
I gotta stay high all my life
Forget I'm missing you
So I
Pickup daddies at the playground
How I spend my daytime
Loosen up their frown
Make 'em feel alive
Yeah, I make it fast and greasy
Numb and way too easy
You're gone and I gotta stay high
All the time
Keep you off my mind, whoa-oh-oh
High all the time
Keep you off my mind, whoa-oh-oh
So I spend my days locked in a haze
Try to forget you, babe
I fall back down
I gotta stay high all my life
Forget I'm missing you
(Staying in my play-pretend
Where the fun ain't got no end
Can't go home alone again
I need someone to numb this pain)
So I'm staying in my play-pretend
Where the fun ain't got no end, end
No, I can't go home alone again
Need someone to numb this pain
You're gone
And I gotta stay
High
All my life
I gotta stay high
All the time
To keep you off my mind
Woo-hoo-ooh-ooh
High
All the time
To keep you off my mind
Woo-hoo-ooh-ooh
Spend my days locked in a haze
Try to forget you, babe
I fall back down
Oh, I gotta stay high
(Daddies at the playground
Daddies at the playground
Daddies at the playground
Daddies at the playground)
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12. |
Jonathan
04:19
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(Daddies at the playground
Daddies at the playground
Daddies at the playground
Daddies at the playground)
You can keep the house
Didnāt wanna move in anyway
Thirty years ahead
And you still wanna play it safe
Yāknow, Winterās gone
But youāre too cool for the Summer sun now?
I just wanna go to the beach, my god
I just wanna lay on the lawn
But Jonathan
You were never gonna let me in
And I kept loosening
But youāre uptight
(Youāre uptight, man!)
Oh, Jonathan
Itās a tug-of-war that I wonāt win
So sick of sewing ends together
Till weāre alright
(Not alright, no!)
So you can keep the house
You can live alone
You can be a stranger again
You can keep the house
You can keep the house
Keep it all
Just push me away
You can live alone
You can be a stranger again, again
You can keep the house
You can keep the house
Keep it all
And you can keep your shirt on
Know weāre not in love
Youāre thirty years ahead
Still wanna play it dumb
Well, Summer has come
But I never did lose my cool for you
Wonāt you drop it for me, my god
I just wanna lay on the lawn
But Jonathan
You were never gonna let me in
And I kept loosening
But youāre uptight
(Youāre uptight, man!)
Oh, Jonathan
Itās a tug-of-war that I wonāt win
So sick of sewing ends together
Till weāre alright
(Weāre not alright, no!)
So you can keep the house
You can live alone
You can be a stranger again
You can keep the house
You can keep the house
Keep it all
Just push me away
You can live alone
You can be a stranger again, again
You can keep the house
You can keep the house
Keep it all
One was Johnny, he lived on his own
Two was a visitor in his home
Three months pass before we turn back
And one was Johnny
One was Johnny, he lived all alone
Two was a visitor in his home
Three months pass before we turn back
And one was Johnny!
You can keep the house
You can live alone
You can be a stranger again
You can keep the house
You can keep the house
You can keep your house
You can keep the house
You can keep the house
Just push me away
You can live alone
You can be a stranger again, again
You can keep the house
Yeah, keep your fucking house!
Keep it all
Keep it all
Keep it all
Keep it all
Yeah, keep it all, keep it all, keep it all
|
||||
13. |
unrepentant
04:30
|
|
||
Just because youāve let me down
Doesnāt mean you oughta let me go, too
Iāve only let you know how fungible you are to me
To flex my sincerity
But Iāll come scrabbling for breadcrumbs
When you wander too far
From the palace I have made of you
Maybe then Iāll learn my lesson
Screw my sour mouth shut
āTill I have a bitter point to prove
Ooh, ah, weāll remember thereās not much to lose
Just
Me
The problem is me
Scald you in the honesty
Blame it on economy
Me
The problem is me
Push āem off a peak
Can never believe their flying free
Iām unrepentant
Iām unrepentant
Fucking up my life with
āOh, I meant it!ā
Yeah, unrepentant
Unrepentant
Fucking up my life
Iām only fucking up my life
Iām only
Loving me
When I think you think youāre cut above me
What happens when I get over you?
Gotta find out now
I wonāt like it when itās found
But thatās how pity starts pounding
Oh, Iām the reason your guilt exists
Iām the object onto which it is placed
I chased you round the periphery
So, honey, wonāt you stick with me?
Iād love to feel this control
So I can dangle us beyond the edge
Smugly let you know how Iāve learned
To let go of
Me
The problem is me, me, me
Scald you in the honesty
Blame it on economy
Me
The problem is me, me, me
Push āem off a peak
Can never believe their flying free
Iām unrepentant
Iām unrepentant
Fucking up my life with
āOh, I meant it!ā
Yeah
Unrepentant
Iām unrepentant
Fucking up my life
Iām only fucking up my life
Iām only
On my own
Then I show
Some remorse
Iāll say anything to be a little less alone!
So let it be me
Itās me
Scald you in the honesty
My weakness is apology
Me?
Oh, Iāve gotten so mean
Pushed āem off a peak
Rather they bleed then watch āem leave
Iām unrepentant (woo!)
Iām unrepentant
Fucked up my life but
Oh, I meant it!
Unrepentant
Iām unrepentant
Fucking up my life
Iām only fucking up my life
Iām only jumping on the knife
Iām only
Me
|
||||
14. |
coastin'
04:36
|
|
||
Iāve been digging my shoebox grave
Wishing for the other shoe to drop
Shooting stars through my brain
Dizzy on a Ferris wheel of pain
Canāt discern the highs from the lows
So my eyes hold the blame
But, oh, god , Iām getting sick of this
Oh, love, Iād really love to change
But, oh, god, feeling like thereās something
Here until again they hear me say
Iām gonna go
Maybe when it snows
Somewhere by the coast
Or the ocean floor
Go sinking slowly
The ocean floor
Go sinking slowly
The ocean floor
Iāve hauled my heart through every city streetlight
Met another lover in a cesspit night
Sliding west, and east
Forever losing someone
No one here really wants to stay
But, oh, god, Iām getting sick of this
Oh, love, Iād really love to change
But, oh, god, Iām feeling like thereās something
Here until again they hear me say
Iām gonna go
Maybe when it snows
Somewhere by the coast
Or the ocean floor
Go sinking slowly
The ocean floor
Go sinking slowly
The ocean floor
Iāll go sinking slowly
The ocean floor
Go sinking slowly
The ocean floor
And I could float away
For nothing golden stays
And I wonāt change my mind
My m-m-mind
I swear Iāll be just fine
This time
This time
Iāve gotta go
Maybe when it snows?
Somewhere by the coast
Or the ocean floor
Iāll go sinking slowly
The ocean floor
Iāll go sinking slowly
The ocean floor
Iāll go sinking slowly
The ocean floor
Iāll go sinking slowly
The ocean floor
Iām gonna go
Maybe when it snows
Somewhere by the coast
Or the ocean floor
(Sinking slowly)
|
||||
15. |
necrophilia
03:56
|
|
||
Let it go if you know itās dead
Necrophilia aināt very cute, my friend
All youāve built and all youāve lost
All the same, all the same, donāt count the cost
So let it go if you know itās dead
Necrophilia aināt very cute, my friend
Let it go if you know itās dead
Let it get out of your head
And out of your hands and out of control
You canāt cherrypick your loverās goal
Nor speak every pivotal poem
From anotherās heart nor anotherās tongue
You, yourself, must do what must be done
Done
Done
(Your necrophilia was never that cute, my friend
Your necrophilia was never that cute, my friend
Your necrophilia was never that cute, my friend
Your necrophilia was never that cute, my friend)
Holding on is nice
Just save it for your life
Everything else may die
But true love blossoms twice
|
||||
16. |
I miss chemsex
04:26
|
|
||
I knew I loved you
Back when I met you
I really hurt you
Deeper than I meant to
So cut me out
If you really think itās doable
And in the end
Iāll say, āWell, at least the scar is beautiful!ā
Iāll miss his kiss and
My lips on his legs
But I miss chemsex
Yes, I was at rest
With his head on my chest
But I miss chemsex
Iām out without a
Out without a
Out without a
Lo-o-ove
Out without a
Out without a love
Out without a
Out without a
Out without a
Lo-o-ove
Out without a
Out without a love
I knew I hurt you
Back when I left you
I really loved you
Deeper than I meant to
So cut me down
If you really think itās suitable
And in the end
Iāll swing to heartbeats immutable
But Iāll dance alone
While he looks for the next
Oh, I miss chemsex
And Iād like to think
That the last was the best
But I miss chemsex
Now Iām out without a
Out without a
Out without a
Lo-o-ove
Out without a
Out without a love
(Do I really want it?)
Out without a
Out without a
Out without a
Lo-o-ove
Out without a
Out without a love
I want you
But I know Iām a mess
No, I canāt trust my head
I want you
But Iāll find someone else
Iām obsessed with regrettable, beddable chemicals
Out
Out
Out
Without a love
(Do I really want it?)
Out
Out
Out
Without a love
Iām
(Out without a
Out without a
Out without a lo-o-ove
Out without a
Out without a love
Out without a
Out without a
Out without a lo-o-ove
Out without a
Out without a love)
Never knew I could beā
(I wasnāt looking for love until
Then I found you
Now Iām out without your love, oh
I wasnāt looking for love until
Then I found you
I wasnāt looking for love)
|
||||
17. |
KAFKAESQUE AT BEST
03:44
|
|
||
Some nights Iām not strong enough to brush my teeth
My loneliness feeds on scalp and feet and my
Brain fries a crispness under this skull
I, the single witness to this cull-and-response
Ridiculousness
Circular circuses
This listless autothysis kisses every night
By sunrise I survive
Iām evergreen
Christmas tree patient
Waiting for the possibility of
Lie-lie-lights
Lights in my eyes
Tonigh-nigh-night
Tonight Iām on fire
I scrawled an essay on the brick wall I once called lover
Emptied or freerāso I tell myself
Saucily pocket my wealth
Toasted to my health
Toast my head with every thought and word
We reverb
Nothing served too absurd for me
On this ungodly Kafkaesque night
Know my phone is spitefully bright
Iām praying still Iāll see it jump alive
For someone might be thinking of me
Wanna fight me, maybe ride me
Hell, Iād be so damn delighted
If I ever luckily see
Lights
Lights in my eyes
Tonight
Tonight Iām on fire
Iām the littlest
Sickest masochist
Lick the tip of it
Dancing off the precipice
Flicking with the fits
Riffing on the risk
In the thick of it
Dancing off the precipice
Iām the littlest
Sickest masochist
Lick the tip of it
Dancing off the precipice
Flicking with the fits, yah
Riffing on the risk, yah
In the thick of it
Falling right into
Lights
Lights in my eyes
Tonight
Tonight Iām on fire
Fire
Fire!
On fire!
Iām on fire!
Oh, Iām on fire!
Oh, Iām on fire!
Oh, Iām on fire!
Iām on fire!
Iām on fire!
|
||||
18. |
SISYPHEAN
04:13
|
|
||
Toothaches these days shake like earthquakes
Canāt afford to replace all the bones I break
Head blanker than the calendar pages
Outdoors, another world war rages, fuck
Why try?
When everything is failing, huh?
Good bye
Apocalypse is waiting for me
Iāll drop dead
Balance all Iāve broken
My bed is a palanquin of hopelessness
(So why try?
So why try?
So why try?
Why try?)
(Thatās my shit
Thatās my shit)
Online, I scrawl my mythology
Desperate to connect to the pedagogy
Gee, Iām disparate, distant from my body
Paralysed by self-fulfilling prophecy, so
Why try?
When everyone is failing, huh?
Good bye
Apocalypse is waiting for me
Iāll drop dead
Balance all Iāve broken
My bed is a palanquin of hopelessness
(Why try!)
Success and blessings for the phoneys
(Why try!)
Impressed by the decorative potpourri
(Why try!)
My best is suckling this ennui
(Why try!)
My chest is a catacomb of hopelessness!
Hopelessness!
Hopelessness!
Hopelessness!
Why try!
When everythingā
Hopelessness!
Why try!
When everythingā
Hopelessness!
Hopelessness!
Hopelessness!
Hopelessness
|
||||
19. |
TALKSHOW
02:56
|
|
||
Through my eyes
The whole worldās watching me
So I smile for the camera
Bored of every script
And in my head
Iām a fallen megastar
Workshopped monologues
Now a lifelong fraud
Trigger cutscenes
Sit back and watch
Characters talk and talk and talk and
Trigger cutscenes
Sit back and watch
Lonely is my god
Welcome to the talkshow
Swallowed my apostles
Finally famous
I could be the muse
Then I could play the maker
Fuck it, Iāll fake it
Welcome to the talkshow
To the talkshow
Caught up in the talkshow now
My whole life
Caught up in the talkshow
So I still laugh at the jokes
When youāre not around nor coming
Back to business never could finish
In my head, I can get it right
Letās trigger cutscenes
Sit back and watch
Characters talk and talk and talk and
Trigger cutscenes
Sit back and watch
Lonely is my god
Welcome to the talkshow
Swallowed my apostles
Finally famous
I could be the muse
Then I could play the maker
Fuck it, Iāll fake it
Welcome to the talkshow
To the talkshow
Caught up in the talkshow now
My whole life
Caught up in the talkshow
No one understands
No one ever will
No one understands
No one ever will
No one understands
No one ever will
No one understands
No one ever will
No one understands
No one ever will
No one understands
No one ever will so
(Everythingās fine!
Everythingās fine!
Everythingās fine!
Everythingās fine!
Everythingās fine!
Everythingās fine!
Everythingās fine!
Everythingās...)
|
||||
20. |
ZIM
05:27
|
|
||
Gotta fill the void with empty shit
Iām afraid of the static and the meaninglessness
So I found true love in an acid trip
And I woke up alone on the floor, naked
Like a little lost seed on cold concrete
Staring at the greener grass I may never reach
I cannot describe my loss of speech
So my mistakes are my mystique
But you were an island of meaning
In a sea of nihilism
Now that youāre gone I might drown
Drown, yeah
You were a shoreline of reason
To a sea of oblivion
Now that youāre gone I might drown
Drown
Iām a stupid alien
A failing chameleon
Trying to fit in
Iām trying, Iām trying
Iām a stupid alien
A failing chameleon
Try to take it in
Iām trying, Iām trying, I
Maybe itās my lack of mirror neurons
I smile too flatly, at least it I put it on
I donāt interface, never interact with the game
You cardboard cutouts of human shapes
(Comedies are tragedies are funny lately
My whole life on a cruel godās telly)
But you were an island of meaning
In a sea of nihilism
Now that youāre gone I might drown
Drown, yeah
You were a shoreline of reason
To a sea of oblivion
Now that youāre gone I might drown
Drown
Iām a stupid alien
A failing chameleon
Trying to fit in
Iām trying, Iām trying
Iām a stupid alien
A failing chameleon
Try to take it in
Iām trying, Iām trying, Iām
Good busy broke
I trip and I smoke
My life is a joke
But Iām good busy broke
Iām good busy broke
I trip and I smoke
My life is a joke
But Iām good busy broke
I make him work
Make him fuck
Make him fucking fall in love!
Make him dance
Make him sing
Making up my favourite sim!
I make him work
Make him fuck
Make him fucking fall in love!
Make him dance
Make him sing
Making up my favourite sim!
āCause you were an island of meaning
In a sea of nihilism
Now that youāre gone I might drown
You were a shoreline of reason
To a sea of oblivion
Now that youāre gone I might drown
Iām a stupid alien
A failing chameleon
Trying to fit in
Iām trying, Iām trying!
Iām a stupid alien
A failing chameleon
Try to take it in
Iām trying, Iām trying
Iām trying, Iām trying
Iām trying, Iām trying
Iām trying, Iām trying
Iām trying, Iām trying
|
||||
21. |
ZODIAC KILLER
04:08
|
|
||
(I donāt have to be here anymore
I donāt have to be here anymore)
Everyday the pit in my stomach
Stirs a wee bit stickier
Venus flytraps a hopeful kid
The little shit just wanted some sugar
So high, might stab every star in sight
But Iām a fatalistic cherrypicker
So Iāma have a ball till my slipper falls
And when the whole show blows to smithereens
Oh, Iāll be running for my life
Running from myself
Iām running from my life now
Running for myself
(Look at him go!)
Little green running man
Knows itās never too much
I can quit me any time
Thereās never any rush
No, Iām a little green running man
With one foot out the door
I donāt have to be here anymore
I donāt have to be here anymore
I can quit this any time
Emergency exit, youāre my zodiac
Smacked me off the balcony
Iāve leapt clean off before, Iām sure
Thereās no use opening my doors
If the whole whorehouse is watching porn
And Iām running for my life
Running from myself
Iām running from my life now
Running for myself
(Look at him go!)
Little green running man
Knows itās never too much
No, no, no
I can quit me any time
Thereās never any rush
No, Iām a little green running man
With one foot out the door
I donāt wanna be me anymore
I donāt wanna be me anymore
I can quit me any time
Emergency exit, youāre my zodiac
Signs! Signs!
(Signs, symbols, signs, symbols)
Signs! Signs!
(Signs, symbols, signs, symbols)
Iām a little green running man
With one foot out the door
One of these days Iāll stop running
And realise my legs have been broken
All along
|
||||
22. |
EXISTENTIAL ACUPUNCTURE
05:14
|
|
||
He tells me to prove my existence
I donāt know how to do that anymore
I could send him body parts
Do they belong to me?
āRoughlyā
He brusquely blocks me, well
This is what happens
When I pause Netflix
Feeling smart enough to send
Messages to anonymousā¦
Oh shit
Better than this
Am I better than this
When this keeps happening
I pause Netflix
Thought Iām hot enough to send
Messages to anonymous
Idiots
Oh shit
Better than this
Am I better than this?
When I wanna pop holes in my windpipe
Pushpins on the wah-wah-wall
Staring down the barrel of the gun
Until I feel the rights and rah-rah-wrongs
They keep me up all night
Weāll be up all night
Keep me out all night
Weāll be out all night
Keep me up all night
Me and the pushpins on the wah-wah-wall
Kick a crown off
Castles fall with the drawbridge
As he drowns in my moat of consciousness
Iām barking like a mad bitch
I apologise to the wrong guy maybe fifty times
But he needed fifty-one
What the fuck?
Iām not that dumb
This is what happens
When I pause Netflix
Feeling smart enough to send
Messages to anonymous dicks
Oh shit
Better than this
Am I better than this
A quick fix?
When
This keeps happening
I pause Netflix
Thought Iām hot enough to send
Messages to anonymous
Idiots
Oh shit
Better than this
Am I better than this
When I wanna pop holes in my windpipe
Pushpins on the wah-wah-wall
Dancing in the barrel of the gun
Until I feel the rights and rah-rah-wrongs
They keep me up all night
Weāll be up all night
Keep me out all night
Weāll be out all night
Keep me up all night
Me and the pushpins on the wah-wah-wall
If acupuncture is therapy
Surely this pushpin is meant for me
If acupuncture is therapy
Clearly I have no enemies
If acupuncture is therapy
Surely this pushpin is meant for me
If acupuncture is therapy
I am my only enemy with
(Holes in my windpipe
Pushpins on the wall
Dancing in the barrel of the gun
Until I feel the rights and wrongs
They keep me up all night
Weāll be up all night
Keep me out all night
Weāll be out all night
Keep me up all night
Me and the pushpins on the wah-wah-wall)
We fā
(We fight!
Me and the pushpins on the wall
We fight
Me and the pushpins on the wall
We fight
Me and the pushpins on the wall
We fight
Me and the pushpins on the wall, wall
We fight
Me and the pushpins on the wall
We fight, fight, fight
Me and the pushpins on the wall)
|
||||
23. |
HIGH ROLLERS
06:07
|
|
||
Soak the walls in smoke
Crackle stones in pipes
Pairing pills like wine
Gourmet death, dining fine
Gonna go to Hell tonight
Tell you if itās boring
Roll your eyes, saucer-wide
UFO flight
Tonight Iām where Iām going
Drove insane clean off a cliff
Psycho high, no hokum
I confide abyss
I never could escape my cynical frame
Supercilious pawn in a pointless game
Rollinā my die
Rollinā my die
Rollinā my
Dice my life away
Every little square is a walk of shame
Same as I was then but tomorrow aināt today
So Iām rollinā my die
Rollinā my die
Rollinā my
Dice my life away
Letās roll
Roll!
Roll!
My-my, my-my
Roll
My-my-my
Letās roll
Roll
Roll
My-my, my-my
Roll
My-my-my
See ya on the flip side
Psychically disintegrating
Oh, fuck my progress
Iāll just pop up in a second save (woo!)
Gonna go to heaven tonight
And surely die of boredom
Fill me with your
Come and rip my body open
Tonight Iām where Iām going
Drove insane clean off a cliff
Psycho high, no hokum
I confide abyss
I never could escape my cynical frame
Supercilious pawn in a pointless game
rollinā my die
Rollinā my die
Rollinā my
Dice my life away
Every little square is a walk of shame
Same as I was then but tomorrow aināt today
So Iām rollinā my die
Rollinā my die
Rollinā my
Dice my life away
Letās roll
Roll!
Roll!
My-my, my-my
Roll
My-my-my
Letās roll
Roll
Roll
My-my, my-my
Roll
My-my-my
I hope thatās my little heart giving out
Not the sound of you beside me getting up
I donāt wanna wake up again tonight, tonight, tonight
I hope thatās my little heart giving out
Not the sound of you beside me getting up
I donāt wanna wake up again tonight
No, no, no
āCause I never could escape my cynical frame
Supercilious pawn in a pointless game
Just rollinā my die
Rollinā my die
Rollinā my
Dice my life away
Every little square is a walk of shame
Same as I was then but tomorrow aināt today
So Iām rollinā my die
Rollinā my die
Rollinā my
Dice my life away
Letās roll
Roll!
Roll!
Roll!
My-my-my
Roll
My-my-my
God
(What if tonight we get where going?
What if tonight we get where going?
What if tonight we get where going?
What if tonight we get where going?
What if tonight we get where going?
What if tonight we get where going?
What if tonight we get where going?
What if tonight we get where going?
What if tonight we get where going?
What if tonight we get where going?
What if tonight we get where going?
What if tonight we get where going?
What if tonight we get where going?
What if tonight we get where going?
What if tonight we get where going?
What if tonight we get where going?)
|
||||
24. |
BODYWEIGHTS
05:54
|
|
||
Diving off the balcony again
Sunk cost fallacies made our bed
Open up your heart so I can shit on it
Well, arenāt we friends?
Hanging overhead, my sunny guillotine
I weaponise death
Methamphetamine breath
Go ahead, sure, played you like a puppet
But emotional blackmail aināt a long string
Now youāre in for a penny
So weāre in for a pound
Another kilogram of my bodyweight
To hold you down
I will hold us down
So wonāt you carry me
Once I die in your lap
Wonāt you lift me up?
My clearcut math
Will you bury me
When I die in your lap?
You could be the straw man
Ride the camelās back
Culpability is so damn easy
When healing is too facile
Who am I without this precious hopelessness?
Raised a palace in a graveyard
Played the king
Living life on a chessboard
Where no one wins
Unchecked, my
Emotional blackmail is a long game
But Iām in for a penny
Now weāre in for a pound
Another kilogram of my bodyweight
To slow me down
Iāll slow us down
So wonāt you carry me
Once I die in your lap
Wonāt you lift me up?
My clearcut math
Will you bury me
When I die in your lap?
You could be the straw man
Ride the camelās back
And carry me
(And carry me!
Yeah, and carry me!
Oh, and carry me!
Yeah, just carry me!)
Donāt come too close, please
Iām trying to keep
You safe from me
From me
Iām a little black hole
Sinking through the earth
(Donāt you know?)
Putty in the palm
Iām your little iceberg
Just a bodyweight
On your bodyweight
On my bodyweight
On your bodyweight
On my
Iām still reeling from
Oh, everything
But I floss more
At least I floss more
(Iām still reeling from everything
But you can hold me till then)
Yes, Iām a little whirlpool
Spinning down the drain, but
You can swim along till then
My friend
A bodyweight on your
Bodyweight on my
Bodyweight on your
Bodyweight on my
Bodyweight on your
Bodyweight on my...
(Colouring me in till I finally snap
Tallying hope till I finally snap)
No lifeguard can save me now
(Interlocking fingers till I finally snap
Colouring me in till I finally snap)
|
||||
25. |
#newyearknewme
03:54
|
|
||
I made another friend today
Oh, it hurts, I know
Loving all the shit he says
This could worsen, though
I guess Iāve made it far; Iām never sure
Oh it hurts, I know
Winter in the park where I met you first
This could worsen, though
āCause the new year knew me
Better than really anybody
Everybodyās hurting and searching
Chasing our tails around
Against again
Against again
Against again
Again
Against again
Against again
Against again...
Donāt tell my friends ābout the fiends I feed
Oh, it hurts, I know
These deeds Iāve done, all of which I wonāt speak
This could worsen though
Leave the windows open and I nap through the noon
Yeah, it hurts, I know
Let the cold wind tint my olive skin blue
This could worsen though
Because the new year knew me
Better than really anybody
Everybodyās hurting and searching
Chasing our tails around
The new year knew me
Better than really anybody
Are we undeserving, hunting the perfect?
Chasing our tails around
Against again
Against again
Against again
Again
Against again
Against again,
Against again, again
Again, again, again
Weāre skin to skin
You and me
Happy as we could be
Could it be?
Weāre skin to skin
You and me
Happy as weāll ever be
Which unfortunately
Is not very much
(Some people are born fucked)
|
||||
26. |
aquarium
04:55
|
|
||
(Some people are born fucked)
Nihilistic prayers
Float away in little bubbles
Slow mo waltzing away
From your truh-uh-uh-oubles
Skinful of the frippery, sunken in the misery
Sulking in a silly sea oā silver screen insolvency
Oh, please
Must that really be me?
What if thereās no ocean
For a shark like me?
When the seas are losing fish
Who cares if Iām free?
See him from a distance
Bumping into glass wa-ah-ah-ah-alls
Riveted by rivers
Secretly a waterfa-ah-ah-ah-all
This Solipsistic Narcissus
Fishing for a death wish
Swishing in a silly sea oā silver screen insolvency
Oh, dear, must that really be me?
What if thereās no ocean
For a shark like me?
When the seas are losing fish
Who cares, who cares if Iām free?
What if thereās no ocean
For a shark like me?
When the seas are losing dolphins
Who cares if Iām free?āØ
Oh, I donāt know how I could live again
Swim up to the surface, the end
No, I donāt know if I should live again
Swim up to the surface, the end
What if thereās no ocean
For a shark like me?
When the seas are losing fish
Who cares, who cares if Iām free?
Oh, what if thereās no ocean
For a shark like me, me, me, me, me?
When the seas are losing dolphins
Who gives a fuck if Iām free?
Aquarium baby
Am I now a memory?
Aquarium baby
Chasing immortality
Aquarium baby
Is this all Iāll ever be?
Aquarium baby
Is this all Iāll ever be?
Aquarium baby
Donāt you wanna be free?
Aquarium baby
Do you wanna be free?
(āCause you could be
You could be
Youāre still here
But you could disappear)
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27. |
YVR (1000 summers)
03:44
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I really shouldnāt be here
Canāt afford this seat on the plane
Do I deserve this view?
Unsure how I feel when he calls my name
Maybe I can write myself a happy ending
Use a superpower for good
Maybe I can stop pretending, settle in
Like I dreaded I would, so
I might let a good thing grow
I might let a good thing go, let it pass
I might let a good one grow
I might let a good one go last
Had a good cry
And my bank account broke
Oh no, caught it all on video
Bald eagle in the sky
And my camera broke
Iāll get over it, though
Eh, want it all on video
Oh, Iāll get over it though
Eh, want it all on video
Oh, Iāll get over it, I know
For a thousand dollars
I could cross the sky
For a thousand summers
I could make him mine
For a thousand dollars
I could say goodbye
For a thousand summers
I could change my mind
(Mine)
Yeah, immortality made me crazy
Obsessing with legacy
I donāt give it legs these days
Iām acing, wavy
Finding myself somewhere else
A clichƩ maybe
Grateful I can see myself, though
No ghost, a little hope so
I might let a good thing grow
I might let a good thing go, let it pass
(Let it pass!)
I might let a good one grow
I might let a good one go last
Had a good cry
And my bank account broke
Oh no, caught it all on video
Bald eagle in the sky
And my camera broke
Iāll get over it, though
Eh, want it all on video
Oh, Iāll get over it though
Eh, want it all on video
Oh, Iāll get over it, I know
For a thousand dollars
I could cross the sky
For a thousand summers
I could make him mine
For a thousand dollars
I could say goodbye
For a thousand summers
I could change my mind
(Mine
Mine
My, my
Mine)
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28. |
gatorskins
03:39
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(Iām a bad, bad, bad, bad person
But I can sublimate me)
Ten years of therapy in little squares
Diamonds, dug out my debonair
Hard to believe I was always there
And yes, it hurts, I know
I was given shoes in which I ran
From two left feet, but Iām throwing hands
Up in the air with all my plans
So this could worsen though
I could lay my life down, say Iāve had enough
But I re-up on the armour when I swan along the bluff
āCause, āmorrow I might snuff it, but Iāll just keep it light
Know my legs are mega dead; Iām still picking up this bike ācause
I fell off for a year or five
Maybe wasted time
Made a wrong in every right
I could lie, feign my own backslide
Though Iām feeling fine
I hold these bars too tight
But Iām pedalling, Iām pedalling down
Pedalling, Iām pedalling down
Pedalling, Iām pedalling down
Pedalling, Iām pedalling down
Easy to boast Iāll swim to shore
Or hopscotch bop to the oceanās floor
Ten years of therapy I canāt afford
And yes, it hurts, I know
So I only wear shoes in which Iāll dance
I triple-knot laces in a trance
Still Iām struggling to command, but
This could worsen though
Albatross haloing my head like a crown now
I donāt need to spin out, I just loop the loop, wow
Hit the ground but I hit it running for my life
And they stole my fucking wheels, but Iām still picking up the bike, yeah!
I fell off for a year or five
Maybe wasted time
Made a wrong in every right
I could lie, feign my own backslide
Though Iām feeling fine
I hold these bars too tight
But Iām pedalling, Iām pedalling down
Pedalling, Iām pedalling down
Pedalling, Iām pedalling down
Pedalling, Iām pedalling down
Iāll fall off for a year or five
Maybe waste my time
Make a wrong in every right
I wonāt hide nor fake a careworn smile
Though Iām feeling fine
Iāll hold these bars too tight
Still pedalling, pedalling down
Pedalling, Iām pedalling down
Pedalling, Iām pedalling down
Pedalling, Iām pedalling down
Yeah
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29. |
lunatic
04:29
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Was a prince of a playpen
Landlocked arrogant
Castled in a corner
Courting bores and a mortgage
Snorting coke and ketamine
On a morbid, torrid Christmas Eve
Cavort to twigs in a strangerās bed
All I ever scored, I now regret
But, hey, I liked the game
And, hey, at least I played
Caught with the flotsam
Knew Iād never be a better man
Crucified conscience
Vomiting nonsense
Shaking hands with a viceās grip
Proffered parting gifts as party trick
I burned my heart beside his bed
All Iāve ever loved I soon forget
But, hey, I was in pain
And, hey, Iām not ashamed
A lunatic puzzler
Watching his self suffer
Rolling my eyes at my reflection
Yeah, weāre cool
Thought it was a given
Genetic determinism
Has writ my death so I lost the plot
All I ever fear is all Iāve got
But, hey, I tried to change
And, hey, Iām still afraid
(Hey, yeah, I shape the maze)
I hate how love subsists
My greatest gracelessness
I wasted all my wits on these
Death wishes, death wishes
Hate how love subsists
My greatest gracelessness
I wasted all my wits on these
Death wishes, death wishes
Death wishes, death wishes
Death
But, hey, yeah
Itās just a phase
And, hey, yeah
I shape this maze
Hey, yeah
Hey, yeah
Hey, yeah
Iām still amazed
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Iām still amazed
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30. |
determinism
06:07
|
|
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Shouted Love till I bent the meaning
Ended up cheapening pent feeling
Tore it down in the name of freedom
So once again I guess Iām bleeding
New friends wear familiar faces
So I outgrow and dwarf āem shamelessly
Or then I blackout when I fear the stasis
Yet I wake to curate mistakes so
Iām better off creating the space to
Breakdown!
Knockout every memory
Burn down all the greenery
The guardinā of my heartbeatļæ¼
Iām gonna flatline
Claw out all my old designs
Smoke out every lifeline
By bible or biology
That self-destructive palmistry
All the shit that happened before
Know it hurts, but I donāt keep score anymore
What for?
Eye for eye and shame for shame
Letās lay the blame on surnames
Youāre not a stone sunken in the river
And Iām not a ripple of a pebble, Iām a swimmer
So I wonāt waste my days
Fencing my own emotions
Blow my heart apart
Weāll throw confetti on the quotient and
Breakdown!
Knockout every memory
Burn down all the greenery
The guardinā of my heartbeatļæ¼
Iām gonna flatline
Drumming with sticks of dynamite tonight
Syncopating lifetimes
Alchemy or chemistry
That self-destructive ecstasy
And maybe I must have hurt meāØAnd maybe I still deserve it
Well, at least Iāve earned this
Iāve earned this
Iāve earned this
Iāve earned to
Breakdown!
Knockout every memory
Burn down all the greenery
The guardinā of my heartbeatļæ¼
Iām gonna flatline
Leave my prophetess behind
Sheās forgiven but not divine
Letās welcome in whatās after me and
That self-destructive rhapsody
And maybe Iāve let them hurt meāØAnd maybe I did not deserve it
Well, at least Iām learning
Iām learning
Iām learning
Iām learning
Iām learning
|
||||
31. |
fucked
05:00
|
|
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(Some people are born fucked)
I lost my phone on the bike ride home
Spent twenty minutes trying to find it though
Lost my love on a Friday night
Spent two years trying to get me right
Lost my job and my routine plans
Shrugging it off, just the way I am
Eyes so brown like the Winter trees
Spent too long trying to grow āem green
Sign on the bus with the broken O
Says 31F Georgetown GO
Iām unlucky but at least I know
(Some people are born fucked)
31F Georgetown GO
All I am, that I am doing now
Will not fix whatās happened or how
No, no, no
All Iāve done or decided back then
Is no excuse for whatās happening
Has no control on whatās happening!
Sign on the bus with the broken O
Says 31F Georgetown GO
Yeah, Iām unlucky but at least I know
Some people are born...
31 Fuck that, I'm going home
(Sign on the bus with the broken O
Says 31F Georgetown GO
Iām unlucky but at least I know
31F Georgetown GO!)
Never could get that little halo
Guess itās time I just let it go
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32. |
Optimism
04:01
|
|
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Donāt know what youāve been thinking
Youāre searching Ive gone missing
Voicemail on my phone
Reminds me Im a home
Created space like hobby
Ive turned us into astronomy
Far out you saw me sinking
Still, youāre coming close
Well you can call me in the night
Find me everyday
Ill be waiting up with something to say
Show you where it hurts
Tell me how youāve grown
We can pass time to feel less alone
Never is enough
Hold it till its gone
Some goddam kindness wouldnāt hurt me
Never is enough
Hold me till Im gone
Some goddam kindness wouldnāt hurt at all
All distance is collapsible
Just menu bars on a webpage
I reach out pull you through the squall
We recall
Call me in the night
Find me everyday
Iāll be waiting up with nothing to say
Show me all youāve learned
Tell you where Iāve flown
We can waste time to feel less alone
Never is enough
Hold it till its gone
Some goddam kindness wouldnāt hurt me
Never is enough
Hold me till Iām gone
Some goddam kindness wouldnāt hurt at all
Some goddam kindness wouldnāt hurt at all
Some goddam kindness wouldnāt hurt at all
Some goddam kindness wouldnāt hurt at all
Some goddam kindness wouldnāt hurt at all
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