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How I learned to love the bomb.

by Rswll

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  • Full Digital Discography

    12
    releases

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of 2019, POSSESS YOURSELF!, Hibernus, Autumnus, Estivus, The SABOTAGE MONTAGE, Vernus, How I learned to love the bomb., and 4 more. , and , .

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1.
Daisies 02:17
lyrics
I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart Metal of my heart Metal, metal of my heart, my Metal of my heart Metal, metal of my heart, and I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart Metal of my heart, metal, metal of my heart and I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart Metal of my heart Metal, metal of my heart, and I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart Metal of my heart, metal, metal of my heart and I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart Metal of my heart, metal, metal of my heart You’re my Hot lover My Little slugger My Silky sugar Mine Not another’s I’ve all my pillars shaken Looking back and breaking You break my backtrack Say I’m not so crazy Crazy! Crazy! Crazy You’re my Hot lover My little slugger My silky sugar Mine, not another’s You are all mine, slugger! I’ve all my pillars shaken Looking back and breaking You break my backtrack Smacking me with daisies! Daisies! Daisies! Daisies! I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart Metal of my heart, metal, metal of my heart and I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart Metal of my heart, metal, metal of my heart I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart Metal of my heart, metal, metal of my heart and Metal of my heart, metal, metal of my heart and I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart Metal of my heart, metal, metal of my heart and… Shaped like you
2.
Cathexis 05:02
lyrics
I don’t know your sports team I don’t need your morphine I just need a little love Need a little love Need a little love Need a little love What if I’m not boring? Never lacked a backstory I just need a little love Need a little love Need a little love Can you give it up? Uh-up Uh, uh-uh-up Uh, uh-uh up Uh uh-up? ‘Cause you could Blow me up Breath of dynamite And pound my pounds Put on some weight tonight and Throw me down Through a ton o’ love If the gameplay ain’t enough Well, you could be the MVP Swing in with your shield When they come for me, yeah You could be the MVP Back to back, all action Killing all of my enemies! (Hey, you!) (You take my breath away) (Hey, you!) (You take my breath away) You know I’m Sweeter than assorted candy Sharper than your sword is randy I just need a little love Need a little love Need a little love Need a little love Cut a hole in your glory, oh I guess I’m horny, ah I just need a little love Need a little love Need a little love Can you give it up? Uh-up Uh, uh-uh-up Uh, uh-uh up Uh uh-up? (‘Cause I could) Blow you up! Breath of dynamite and Pound your pounds Put on some weight tonight and Throw you down Through a tunnel-love If the gameplay ain’t enough Well, you could be the MVP Swingin’ with your shield when they come for me Yeah, you could be the MVP Back to back, all action Killing all of my enemies! (Hey, you!) (You take my breath away) (Hey, you!) (You take my breath away) (Hey, you!) (You take my breath away) (Hey, you!) (You take my breath away) MVP, MVP (You could be the) MVP, MVP (Hey, you!) Swing in with your shield Swingin’ with your shield When they come for me When they come for me MVP, MVP MVP, MVP Batter-batter, batter-batter Batter-batter, batter-batter Batter-batter killing enemies! (Should we embrace the entropy Yes, you could be the MVP Just play this game till the) End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me End of me
3.
Forcefields 04:06
lyrics
I hush my rushing blood, else I stuff and tuck my wounds I might mean the world to you then rocket to the moon Tiptoes tattle on my tombs I hang my heels over head for fun You fear falling from—? Boy, I’ve come crawling through that same sun! And I’ve been burned! So bite the barbecue dirt That underpins my bubbling love, I’m Curving your learning, you’re flirting With the hurt circling above me and (I’m not dancing sober On the tightropes that you shoulder) Flexing my forcefields Kissing the cavalry Hailing the hellfire Heartache inside of me For I am no more dear I am the fear of blame A tangle of iron Dancing within your flame If I am my armour (I could be…) Cut through, like a loveless knight Crenellating heartbeats, yup I sleep on peaks in peace You’re but a tick, talking To a fragile timepiece I turn That hand real quick Toe the line, until you’re two feet shy, I’m Curving, you’re learning you’re flirting With the hurt burgeoning inside me and I’m not dancing sober on the tightropes that you shoulder I’m not climbing up, my baby, I’m just climbing over! Flexing my Forcefields Kissing the cavalry Hailing the hellfire Heartache inside of me For I am no more dear I am the fear of blame A tangle of iron Dancing within your flame If I am my armour I could be… Forcefields… Cavalries… Hellfire Inside of me Forcefields… Cavalries… Hellfire Inside of me Forcefields… Cavalries… Hellfire Inside of me Forcefields… Cavalries… Hellfire Inside of me Forcefields… Cavalries… If I am my armour Well, I could be yours, too
4.
Patientia 04:20
lyrics
I think the stars are dizzy in the sky (Been a long time coming) A long time coming, darling! To ever let our razor edges split this line (Long time coming) A long time coming, darling! I fear we interlock by design (Been a long time coming) A long time coming, darling! An easy high, you say we’re fire signs Been a long time coming A long time coming We’ll have the aurorae dip down and curtsy at our feet We’ll have the aurorae dip down and curtsy at our feet No, the aurora is not enough when universes meet You know the aurora is not enough when universes meet So catch us catching comets in our teeth Swapping spaces, layaway those sun rays Forayed our AM Sour gold! (Been a long time coming, a long time coming) Here we are meteorite angels, meeting and rekindling Ignite nights of sin God, we are bold! (A long time coming, a long time coming) We’ll have the aurorae dip down and curtsy at our feet We’ll have the aurorae dip down and curtsy at our feet You know the aurora is not enough when universes meet (Been a long time coming, a long time coming) You know the aurora is not enough when universes meet (Been a long time coming) So catch us catching comets in our teeth Why are we sipping, strutting down the street? Kiss you at the Station, always to repeat Why do we click in syncopated beat? Kiss you at the Station, never to repeat Why are we sipping, strutting down the street? Kiss you at the Station, always to repeat Why do we click in syncopated beat? Kiss you at the Station, never to repeat I know! Strutting down the street (Kiss you at the station) Always to repeat Syncopated beats (Kiss you at the station) Never to repeat Strutting down the street (I think the stars are dizzy in the sky) Always to repeat Syncopated beats (Kiss you at the station) Never to repeat Strutting down the street (I think the stars are dizzy in the sky) Always to repeat Syncopated beats Never to repeat Strutting down the street (You’d better keep your heart away from mine) Always to repeat Never to repeat Never to repeat Never to repeat
5.
New Wars (Soliloquy i) 03:50
lyrics
Singing my sadness Patching my legs Oh, what a stoic self Laughed off the head So love you my violence? And will you be sweet? Should love be a syrupy Black sugar licking your cheeks? Well I, I, I, I, I, I do Yes, I, I, I chose you You peel the bandages I season the gash Seesawing between The flame and the ash So love you my violence? And will you be sweet Should blood be a syrupy Black sugar spill on the sheets? Well I, I, I, I do I, I, yes, I, I, I, I Oh, I, I chose you For the new wars Sawing forth and back Could you love me Without tact? Through the new wars sawing Forth and back Pray I cut you Only slack Through the new wars sawing Forth and back Oh, should you love Behind my back Through the new wars sawing Forth and back Pray you have the Whiter flag For we We will lose! So beg you never do get through The new wars sawing Forth and back The new wars sawing Forth and back Pray I fire my gun last
6.
Spitroast 02:21
lyrics
(You have me screaming into pillows for your love) For your La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la love La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la love La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la love La-la-la love But if there’s no love, can you give it up? If there’s no love, is it true? Find me fucked out of my head On another man’s bed Just to prove how There’s no hope So grab my throat ‘cause We’ve got shit to lose You have me screaming into pillows for your love! Spitroast my ego, haven’t I given you enough? I’m smoked up and seeded—you don’t even see it You have me screaming into pillows for your love For your La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la love La-la-la, la-la-la love But I’m your baby bear and I’m your buffoon! I’m your exceptional until I’m used! I’m your sandpaper worn like a wool! I’m your troglodyte, a catamite mule ‘Cause I’m your baby bear and you must be the zoo! I’m so exceptional, affection till I’m used up! I’m your sandpaper, an overhead of wool! I’m your troglodyte, a catamite, a dynamite I’m dynamite I’m dynamite I’m dynamite I’m dynamite I’m dynamite I’m dynamite I’m dynamite I’m dynamite! (You) Spitroast my ego, haven’t I given you enough? I’m smoked up and seeded—you don’t even see it You have me screaming into pillows for your love Fuck you
7.
Halfahell 04:39
lyrics
Sweet talking, fingers hopping Got you fishing for a card in your pocket, ‘cause I’m a smart one, starting real love Charge it up, give a fuck, get a number, then I block it Silence says more words than— Then I take a breath and cry for more communication! So damn dumb, dugout-in-a-dam dumb Don a turret that I promised I’d abandoned But I know you know I know I did it to myself The gunpowder’s on my breath Spin ahead chasing tail, well Maybe I’ll burn in half a hell Know I did it to myself Sucking bullets off his chest Chasing head, spin a tale, well Maybe I’ll burn in half a hell Know I did it to myself Sleep walking, fingered often Got me fishing for my heart in your pocket ‘cause You’re a smart one, started real lo— My skin amethystine Now I need the morphine! I’m baited, racing, posthaste See me sobbing in a staircase For some summit I still scale You, heavyweight on my waist What a waste! ‘Cause I know you know I know I did it to myself! The gunpowder’s on my breath! Spin ahead chasing tail, well Maybe I’ll burn in half a hell Know I did it to myself Sucking bullets off his chest Chasing head, spin a tale, well Maybe I’ll burn in half a hell Know I did it to myself I did it to myself I did it to myself I did it to myself I did it to myself I did it to myself I did it to myself I did it to myself Myself, myself, myself, myself Myself, myself, myself, myself Myself, myself, myself, myself Myself, myself, myself, myself Myself! Know I did it to myself! Know I did it to myself! Know I did it to myself! Know I did it to myself! Know I did it to myself! Know I did it to myself! Know I did it to myself! Know I did it to myself! Know I did it to myself! Know I did it to myself! Maybe I’ll burn in half a hell Know I did it to myself!
8.
Raven 04:00
lyrics
Fuse is flaming Brooding, brusque and braiding Good news: you’ve made it Swinging down the line, down the line Blues well painted A fatalism you’ve created Good news: you’ve made it Swinging down the line, down the line Always down the line (Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie) Captain of a sinking ship See you feeding all the hounds who sniff and Scope out every split in the rig Oh, I’d get seasick bleeding that bliss Sweat light with the shake and list Let a lover sink as you save your ship, I mean God damn, how you slip that risk! But I’d get seasick bleeding that bliss Truth A raven Is circling the bruises buried Well, good noose; you’ve made it Swinging down the line, down the lie-lie-line Brandished bandages so damn jaded Fashioned with the damage You are never outdated Good noose; you’ve made it Swinging down the line, down the line Always down the line (Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie) Captain of a sinking ship See you feeding all the hounds who sniff and Scope out every split in the rig Oh, I’d get seasick bleeding that bliss Like this (What kind of man loves like this, huh? What kind of man loves like this, huh? What kind of man loves like this, huh? What kind of man loves like this?) What kind of man loves like this, huh? What kind of man loves like this, huh? What kind of man loves like this, huh? What kind of man loves like this, you Sweat light with the shake and list Let a lover sink as you save your ship God damn, how you slit that wrist Bleeding that bliss But I’d get seasick, bleeding that bliss Yeah, I’d get seasick, bleeding that bliss Yeah, I’d get seasick, bleeding that bliss
9.
Cuckoo (Soliloquy ii) 02:13
lyrics
How does it feel to find your face in the gutter Self-aware, checking out for a lover? Cover your eyes and come in his mouth Well, how does it feel to fall so far down? Just to love him Blade in a breast slotted in so soothed Jagged jigsaw nested up in a groove Cuckoo cooed refuge, stooped on his own And settled on a bone, so welcome home alone Just to love him The sun will set on the city tonight And you’ll love him with the last of the light The sun will set on the city tonight Yeah, you’ll love him with the last of the light And you’ll wait up, and you’ll turn back And you’ll love him, and you’ll hate that And you’ll wait up, and you’ll turn back And you’ll love him, and you’ll hate that And you’ll wait up, and you’ll turn back And you’ll love him, and you’ll hate that You’ll wait up, and you’ll turn back And you’ll love him, and you’ll hate that ‘cause I do I chose you For the old war sawing back and forth You knew I would love you more
10.
Greyly 06:43
lyrics
I see your hand think twice, looking away Feeling nothing (Lie, lie, lie Lie and lie, lie Lie and lie and lie) Picking limb by limb out of love White doves turning buzzards (We lie, lie, lie Lie and lie, lie Lie and lie and lie, mhm) I hold your hue to disown my blues Say you hate the shade, so I shine like you And try to find the worst of me I wear your targets on my back daily My baby, take me… Just take me hunting Just take me hunting Though I see your Walls grow up, taller than us Our children Oh, I carry on carrion This kill is one in a million Your electronic lovers murder me With their marquee messages screened My heart beats me (Find the best of me) I wear your targets on my back daily You take me hunting He takes me hunting If all I am is all I ever do I will smoke out the blood Shine the metal in my heart For you For you For you Let the veins run dry Because grey is your favourite colour Your favourite colour I know your favourite colour! Your favourite colour (I know your favourite colour) Colour Your favourite colour Mm Your favourite colour And should that ever change Babe
11.
The Summit 05:53
lyrics
I know your flows, you know Your rivers cut through mine Each valley, every dive I owned them I’ve drunk my throat ablaze Your spirit, oxygen You forested within my bones, babe You were my favourite world But if I See oceans wash away Scorch the earth in fire Sink summits in the waves Then you’re just a mountain to me, babe Just a mountain to me, babe I cannonballed into Your canopies and shores Sunsets and summer storms rolling Each kiss upon each pore Poured through my canyon-cracked Armour that I further stacked, I was Holing You were my favourite world For there I was a songbird I, I, I, I, I See oceans wash away Scorch the earth in fire Sink summits in the waves You’re just a mountain to me, babe Yeah, you’re just a mountain to me, babe You’re just a mountain to me, babe Yeah, you’re just a mountain to me, babe Babe, babe But if I see oceans wash away Scorch the earth in fire (Sink summits) Sink them in the waves (You’re just a mountain to me) Babe Just a mountain to me, babe You’re just a mountain to me, babe Yeah, you’re just a mountain to me, babe Babe (You’re just a mountain to me) Then you’re just a mountain to me, babe Then you’re just a mountain to me, babe Then you’re just a mountain to me, babe Then you’re just a mountain to me, babe But you were my favourite world
12.
Cutthroat 03:45
lyrics
My heart struck, beat my head shyly Fearing you as much as we fear death To think I’ll start again! I cut teeth before my tongue replies I cut sleeve before my heart resigns My love, I fear my pulse does repulse yours So I cutthroat and cool until I bore again ‘Cause things hurt then we grow fears I am far from grown! Things hurt then we grow fears I am far from grown! How I wish my fast love slowed How I wish my fast love slowed But the heart was worn Before the sleeve was torn Maybe this heart was worn Before the sleeve was sewn, I see I never ran for my heart My heart ran too damn quick, like Leap sharp, lover Once startled, I start to stick ‘Cause things hurt then we grow fears I am far from grown! Things hurt then we grow fears I am far from grown! How I wish my fast love slowed How I wish my fast love slowed Things hurt then we grow fears Things hurt then we grow fears Things hurt then we grow fears Things hurt then we grow fears Things hurt then we grow fears Things hurt then we grow fears Things hurt then we grow fears Things hurt then we grow fears How I wish my fast love slowed How I wish my fast love slowed How I wish my fast love slowed How I wish my fast love slowed How I wish my fast love slowed How I wish my fast love slowed How I wish my fast love slowed How I wish my fast love slowed Head outsmarted heart till I cut throat
13.
My Colossus (Soliloquy iii) 03:39
lyrics
Well, I’ve felt the universe sleep in my arms And I’ve seen starlights flicker and fall Eavesdrop dream seen mirrored in his face Not a line compare, every poem I waste I’ve felt the universe sleep in my arms And I’ve seen eyelids flicker and fall Cold wood warmed when he wore within me And each hair solar-flared out of his skin Yes, I’ve heard my heartbeat singing highs And I’ve had caverns burst with lights Flyblown eyeholes flown with hope Where the sun kissed folded earth Birthing golden smoke And I’ve heard my heartbeat singing highs Yes, I’ve had skylines burst with lights Under the arms where I suckled on strength Fiddled palms; brittle bombs that gardened my head My colossus, my middle losses Yeah My chest pops each time that he crosses For I was a streetlight in the city of his heart But I’ve felt the universe sleep in my arms
14.
Aerial 05:02
lyrics
I’m breaking my heart over you I’m breaking my heart over you From ruin, my love sprung anew I’m breaking my heart over you I’m breaking my heart over you And dropping needles on the moon For charting hearts and where they flew I’m breaking my heart over you I’m breaking my heart over you I’ll meet you in another room Another night, another noon You’ll toast the fluke and sing along To this tune I broke my heart for you I broke my heart for you I broke my heart for you I broke my heart for you Now I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart Metal of my heart Metal, metal of my heart I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart Metal of my heart Metal, metal of my heart I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart In the metal of my heart In the metal of my Metal of my I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart Metal of my heart Metal, metal of my heart, yeah I’ve got a hole in the metal of my heart

about

Nothing hurts like a first heartbreak and perhaps nothing teaches more.

'How I Learned to Love The Bomb' is a concept album that traces the swelling and bursting of Rswll's heart, a record obsessed with interiority and self-awareness.

He wars with himself across Soliloquies that punctuate the record’s tracklist, theatrical asides that mark the passage of time within a doomed relationship. These naked piano ballads also divide the record into three distinct sections: The flourishing of love, the destruction of that relationship, and the retrospective reflection.

These moments are painted with swooning strings, pale synths, and stereo-spanning pianos, all drawn from a CASIO WK-6500 keyboard. The rhythms are entirely sourced from a tiny Korg Volca Beats drum machine.

Although the initial vocal takes were recorded in a Toronto basement apartment Rswll had been renting at the time, he later re-recorded the entire album at his home studio—his bedroom, in his parents’ house. Nonetheless, the primary vocal takes survived, and it’s with these tender, still-wounded recordings that Rswll autopsies his first love.

credits

released February 14, 2019

WRITING
PRODUCTION
RECORDING
MIXING
MASTERING
PHOTOGRAPHY
DESIGN
• roswell greeniaus

(14) contains a sample of "A Bird's Eye View of All of My Relationships" from iTunes Originals: Fiona Apple. Used without permission but with immense gratitude.

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