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I'm not the joke!

by Rswll

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  • Full Digital Discography

    12
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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of 2019, POSSESS YOURSELF!, Hibernus, Autumnus, Estivus, The SABOTAGE MONTAGE, Vernus, How I learned to love the bomb., and 4 more. , and , .

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1.
The Foundering 04:30
lyrics
Don’t fight the foundering, dear There are no closures here No doors to shut No sinking ships to jump But you can swim back to me I know you, lovely Better than anyone ever will love me Me I will love me most I will love me most So here’s a toast to the ghost I once was Drifting from the ports to the starboards Albatross clown Bathed in my bad luck Played up the stuck Still steeped under my own thumbs Don’t fight the foundering, dear There are no closures here No, no, no-no, no No doors to shut When we’ve already sunk But you can swim up to me Drowned, eyes muddied I’m your friend! Don’t forget how I loved me Me I will love me most (I will love me most) So here’s a toast to the ghost I once was Drifted from the ports to the starboards Albatross clown Plucking her own down Having found no nest Don’t fight the foundering, dear The seabed singing near Don’t fight the foundering, dear There are no closures here No, no, no-no, no No doors to shut The water’s in and we’ve not won
2.
Superstore Blues 03:55
lyrics
Grocery shopping by myself I know these aisles all too well Everyday robots with whom I’m in tune Synchronised swimmers swallowing the blues Grocery shopping by myself Yes, I am the island But you are just as well So I get a little bit sick of this And I get a little bit overfed I get a little bit sick of seeing stupid people Making stupid choices in their shopping carts And I get a little bit sick of this And I get a little bit overfed I get a little bit sick of standing next to stupid people Thinking I’m not like them I’m grocery shopping by your side I shop memories to keep you alive I know these isles (I know these isles) Oh, I fear them well (I fear them well) I may wander around And glimpse my heart upon these shelves So I get a little bit sick of this And I get a little bit overfed I get a little bit sick of seeing stupid people Making stupid choices in their shopping carts And I get a little bit sick of this And I get a little bit overfed I get a little bit sick of standing next to stupid people Thinking I’m not like them No, I’m not like them! No, I’m not like them! No! I’m not like them! So I am a little bit sick of this And I am a little bit overfed I am a little bit sick of standing next to stupid people Thinking I’m just…
3.
Wallpapers 04:03
lyrics
Hey, I’m tired of dying, I tire killing myself So sick of hiding me out in golden laurel shells Papering up the hall where all the bricks stay broke Shirk the fires to find I’m pining past-lives’ smoke So I harpoon swum hearts till the b-beating restarts Resuscitate, I know I’m fixing to fade One more time again, one more, one more time again Resuscitated! Red paint on rusty gates! Pay with potentiallys! Why heckle widow dreams? Hide all your history! Red paint on rusty gates! Pay with potentiallys Why heckle widow dreams? Just hide all your history! Wallpapers by the ream, bite till the bitter’s sweet Wallpapers by the ream, bite till the bitter’s sweet Hey, I’m tired of dying my roots a million hues I cannot be happy always trying to be happy, truth Still I paper the hall where all the bricks stay broke Shirk the fires to find I’m pining past-lives So I harpoon swum hearts till the b-beating restarts Resuscitate, I know I’m fixing to fade One more time again, one more, one more time again Resuscitated! Red paint on rusty gates! Pay with potentiallys! Why heckle widow dreams? Hide all your history! Red paint on rusty gates! Pay with potentiallys Why heckle widow dreams? Just hide all your history! Red paint on rusty gates! Pay with potentiallys! Wallpapers by the ream, bite till the bitter’s sweet Red paint on rusty gates! Pay with potentiallys! Wallpapers by the ream, bite till the bitter’s sweet (Red paint on rusty gates! Pay with potentiallys Wallpapers by the ream Bite till the bitter’s sweet Red paint on rusty gates! Pay with potentiallys Wallpapers by the ream Bite till the bitter’s sweet) Picked up, pushed out, throwing up my throes All of my doubts given into gold Picked up, pushed out, throwing up my throes All my hideouts, giving into gold Picked up, pushed out, throwing up my throes All of my doubts given into gold Picked up, pushed out, throwing up my throes All my hideouts, giving into gold I’m giving into gold! (Picked up! Pushed out! All my hideouts!) I’m giving into gold! (Picked up! Pushed out!)
4.
Dogs on the Subway 04:39
lyrics
I feel the shaking in my bone The prattling along, all the senselessness-es And now I know I’m not alone Where my talons meet your paws/pause How are you so soft—ly walking on the track Not thinking of him, not with you don’t look back But I still sharpen my eye, sharpen my skin to keep me in Keep you out, keep it cool I’m slipping up as I sing: You make me happier than dogs on the subway! I know we won’t speed underground the whole day! I still sharpen my eyes every time we’re riding above! And when I come back to black you’re sat beside me still I love that I feel; thinking not at all The shaking in my bones breaks the elegy of thought And now I know I’m not alone We are birds of a feather, all we can do is belong—er Taller than the trees, higher than the scratchers of the sky Scraping my knees on clouds gone grey Needing is beneath me, so instead I’ll say: You make me happier than dogs on the subway! (Woo!) I know we won’t speed underground the whole day! I still sharpen my eyes every time we’re riding above! And when I come back to black you’re sat beside me still I love that (Na, na, na!) ‘Cause you make me happier than dogs on the subway! I know we won’t speed underground the whole day! I still sharpen my eyes every time we are riding above! And when I come back to black you’re sat beside me still Thanks for that
5.
Ruby Ladder 04:00
lyrics
We can mutilate together, dear Just start slow, nibble on my ear And bite down too hard, let the river run out, yeah Bite down too hard, let the river run out, ‘cause I’ve writ the headers on my arms Bodied my rottens just to prove past harm Conclusions are above us now So run on, I’ll let the river come (Come) Come! (Come) Come! (Come!) Yeah, you suck some skin, lick my chest Little do you know of how I lick the rest Climb atop my highest shelf with the little ruby ladder on my arms And you’ll smell blood Blood (Blood) I smell blood, blood So we can mutilate together, dear Just start slow nibble on my ear Bite down too hard, let the river run out, yeah We can mutilate together, dear! Just start slow nibble on my ear Bite down too hard, let the river run out Let’s mutilate, darling Mutila-ha-hate I know your teeth don’t match my sordid fangs So every time they click I’m picking apart the hopeful hand And maybe I am fucking myself The more I love; the more I hurt Till I can only smell blood Blood (Blood) I smell blood, blood So we can mutilate together, dear Just start slow nibble on my ear Bite down too hard, let the river run out, yeah We can mutilate together, dear! Just start slow nibble on my ear Bite down too hard, let the river run out Let’s mutilate, darling Mutila-ha-hate ‘Cause you ain’t climbing up, and I can never explain Breaking my heart just to spell my name! Weapons out, armour down (Let’s mutilate Let’s mutila-ha-ha-ha-hate Let’s mutila-ha-ha-mm-mm Let’s mutilate Aha)
6.
The Scary 03:21
lyrics
Looking hot with my head off Fancy I can speak softly Love me harder in the summertime Your choice till I am your need With knees on the hardwood Curl lip, skip the fist, kliss crowns Loving the ways I lay you down With knees on the hardwood Curl lip, skip the fist, kiss crowns Yeah, love me as I’m not now Fuck my flame when it’s dead smoke Fancy me with my halo low-key Love me harder under moonlight Well, god bless, I’m your devil tonight! With knees on the hardwood Curl lip, skip the fist, kiss crowns Loving the ways I lay you down With knees on the hardwood Curl lip, skip the fist, kiss crowns Yeah, love me as I’m not now ‘Cause he loves to watch me climbing out the quarry He loves anointing me “the scary” He loves to watch me climbing out the quarry And he loves anointing me “the scary” And he loves to watch me climbing out the quarry And he loves anointing me “the scary” Yeah, he loves to watch me climbing out the quarry And he loves anointing me “the scary” And he loves to watch me climbing out the quarry And he loves anointing me “the scary” ‘Cause he loves to watch me climbing out the quarry He loves anointing me “the scary” (With knees on the hardwood, curl lip, skip the fist, kiss crowns Loving the ways I lay you down) And he loves to watch me climbing out the quarry And he loves anointing me “the scary” (With knees on the hardwood, curl lip, skip the fist, kiss crowns Yeah, love me as I’m not now) He loves my fiend when it’s preened on his supreme silver leash
7.
Frequent Flyer 03:30
lyrics
Well, I’ll never be your frequent flyer! Praying I would die first in freaky fires! Never would get my chance to be your world I have a mistletoe dangle from a knife I’ll be sipping propane while I christen you “My light” My bitter, tinder tongue may litter, leave you as a runt I’ll hold the gun, uh-huh, uh-huh-huh Yeah, you can climb on top of me to emulate my height The pedestal I’ll put you on is really for the sights Of my crosshairs, baby, I don’t play fair I just play along So you can call me crazy and I may play along The cages here don’t faze me Nah, I’m just here to get done until “The One” is gone And I’ll never be your frequent flyer! Praying I would die first in freaky fires! Never would get my chance to be your world (Never would be your frequent flyer Never would be your frequent flyer) I’ll never behave in the beehive Special in the centre but sweeter on the side Lines, sucker, I have traced yours Framed in chalk, uh-huh, uh-huh-huh So you can speak in silver tongue but I will hear the rust, yeah Paint yourself a saint, weigh your gold encrusted bust But, being brusque, a lust-and-nut was easy Not the trust that shut between us! But you can call me crazy and I may play along The cages here don’t faze me Nah, I’m just here to get done until “The One” is gone And pardon me if I forget to genuflect to death Apologies, expect of me, but rarely hit your breath So when I’m up and looking scary Better believe you are my quarry And I ain’t your… I’ll never be your frequent flyer! Praying I would die first in freaky fires! Never would get my chance to be your world World! (Never would be your frequent flyer) World! (Never would be your frequent flyer) World! (Never would be your…)
8.
You Are (I'm Not the Joke) 07:18
lyrics
Off the springboard stratosphere Our movement measured in years You become my favourite word I follow you between your ears Where we meet upon the yellow fields Though the space light bathes our heels And I heal on every tear Drops out another heavy fear (And suddenly) I’m not the joke you are (Hey, hey) Hey, I’m not the joke you are, yeah So we swim at the speed of love Till my mercy is enough (It is enough!) To carry us across that sea I see my shames at the bottom My lovers at the bottom But they’re so far from me! Me! From me! Off the springboard stratosphere (Springboard stratosphere) Our movement measured in years (Movement measured in years) You become my favourite word, followed you between your ears To the springboard stratosphere Diving head first ne’er so clear (Never so clear!) What a welcome suicide! Slide above death by your side Till the differences kiss and hold together The abyss is a pen pal folding letters And the differences kiss and hold together The abyss is a pen pal folding letters And the differences kiss and hold together The abyss is a pen pal folding letters (I get it) And the differences kiss and hold together The abyss is a pen pal folding letters (I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it I get it, I get it, I get it, yo) I’m not the joke you are Hey, I’m not the joke you are, no No, we are each other’s stars We’re not so far apart So let’s go to the dog park! Yeah, let’s go to the dog park! Yeah, let’s go to the dog park! Say “Yes” and we will go far! Just say yes! Let’s go to the dog park! Yeah, let’s go to the dog park! Yeah, let’s go to the dog park! Say “Yes” and we will go far! Say yes! Say yes! (Alright, alright)
9.
Harpies 06:23
lyrics
Not debonair in this dwell No holier for hiding I know better now, I know better And dead dogs don’t roll over Swum hearts sink no slower I know better now, I know better Hated my heart’s beat Earthbound, I had cut my feet But I know better now, I know better Though I never could be finished with it I was stood still, collecting commas Never would outgrow the land where I am the fauna So see me crawl into the sky Where I will learn to keep alight Perhaps gasp through teeth But I will learn to keep a light Till I, I am a harpy All is beneath me I am a harpy I am above my blame I am of proud mistakes Yet all is beneath me Among the harpies There is power in my horror (Power in my horror) Sugar in my misery (Sugar in my misery) Jewellery, the love shed (Jewellery, the love shed) Purity is pedigree And not the power in my horror (Power in my horror) The sugar in my misery, oh (Sugar in my misery) Jewelled with the love shed Carved into my head I am a raining flame! Mother of hurricanes! And I am a golden death! Fathered my own last breath! And I am a blacked out sun shadowing everyone! And I will not hurt me among the harpies And I am almighty; I will not hurt me! I will love me most! (I will love me most I will love me most I will love me most I will love me most I will love me most I will love me most)
10.
Fetch & Fletch 03:18
lyrics
“Trauma has some quiet symptoms” That’s what my counsellor said And you don’t know you’re living with them Until you’re fucking dead, I guess So maybe I am, so maybe I am! Maybe I am ‘Cause no one sat still at the finish line Just waiting for me to pull up And some have said that means I’ve got a lot of time Ugh, leaves me wondering: For what? ‘Cause if I shut my eyes for another five I will disappear at the drop of my dime-sized heart And wage a pyrrhic war Just to fatten up the score And in you, confiding All the lives I have lived before I’m getting old (I’ve gotten old And I’m getting… So I will fetch my bones while I fletch arrows That I’ll shoot at myself just to feel a little less alone You can drop by, stick an apple in my eye Or a flame in my heart, while I prep for your departure That’s just how it goes, how it rows, how I roll Grown in the smoke, sporting shrapnel blown Yeah, that’s just how it goes, how I rose, how I roll Parse apart myself, decorate my woes Woes, woes! (I decorate my woes) Woes, woes! (Yeah, I decorate my woes!) Woes! Woes! (Watch me decorate my woes!) Woes! Woes! I’m fettered The feathers though golden are no better Just a heavier bird sizing up the stormy weather So whatever Yeah (Yeah, whatever)

about

Although there are hints of darkness peppered throughout, "I’m not the joke!" is a decidedly optimistic album. Rswll recounts life in a new city with both dryness (“Superstore Blues”) and exuberance (“Dogs on the Subway”).

The titular track recounts Rswll's first psychedelic trip, which naturally prompts the following self-love anthem, "Harpies”—but even this is contextualised as a fleeting state by the album closer, “Fetch & Fletch.”

As Rswll sings at the close, knowingly: “Yeah, whatever.”

credits

released May 20, 2016

WRTING
PRODUCTION
RECORDING
MIXING
MASTERING
DESIGN
• roswell greeniaus

PHOTOGRAPHY
• michael bertorelli

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Rswll Montreal, Québec

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